| Aug. 20th, 2009 @ 09:26 pm Private Journal |
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Current Mood:  contemplative
I got the letter today.
I can't say it wasn't expected really. I don't think they'd ever count last year as an actual academic experience. There's no question I'm going back; I do want to finish school and I still have no idea what I'm going to do with my life so I need to take any time I can to figure that out. Besides, I think Gran might actually kill me if I tried to tell her I wasn't going. I just don't know how I feel about going back yet. I know it will probably be good to see everyone again, at least see them again in a setting that doesn't involve all of us in dress robes and surrounded by so many people we can't even speak to one another. I've been so reclusive lately, but it seems like they're just trying to move everything along so quickly. I mean I didn't even really loose anyone that last night and I'm still trying to recover from it. I can't imagine what the others feel. I mean how could Mrs. Weasley handle seeing all of her kids out of the house again. How are Ron and Ginny and Dennis Creevey just supposed to come back to school, how are they suposed to walk the same halls where their brothers were killed.
I don't know, maybe they're just stronger than I am. I shouldn't be the one in the papers, getting awards and having people looking up to me so much. They should have the honor. It just seems to me like everyone is trying to move on and I can't seem to do that. I don't know how to act when there is no war, when I don't have to worry about Voldemort or the Death Eaters or wonder who's name will be in the paper next. I don't even read the paper anymore.
I just can't figure out who I'm supposed to be anymore...
I have to go school shopping. It's be almost like first year again, I need everything. I think I'm going to go to Hogsmeade, though, there are usually smaller crowds there. |
